perseverance

A pretty perceptive man once said to me that Success was about "keeping on keeping on". He was Japanese American. I didn't really understand him properly at the time, unacquainted as I was with the different variations of American English Vernacular. I rather suspect now, after some 15 years, that he was simply talking about Perseverance. Or as the lyrics of that song released by the unforgettably named band "Chumbawumba" goes:

"I get knocked down, but I get up again.
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
They ain't never gonna keep me down"

So if I was to be so arrogant as to offer advice to anyone I would simply say:

Never give up.

Never give in.

Keep on keeping on.

................................................I think.

Guilty as charged

I am feeling so guilty about not having posted anything for what? - nearly 3 months now. I just let it slip. Or maybe my circumstances changed and I felt that I didn't need the blog as much anymore, which surprises me because I didn't realise that I "needed" it in the first place. I thought that I would just be putting some old writings on the web and recycling lots of paper that was cluttering up my attic and that maybe some people would chance across it during their meanderings around the Web and be sufficiently stimulated by what they read that they left me some feedback. Well, it's been months, very few visitors and bugger-all feedback, which, amusingly enough is a form of feedback in itself, I suppose.


So my court case is over and I won and now it seems that I'm diving headfirst back into my old life, but with a twist, in that I'm not making millions for other people and big media companies any more - I'm doing it for myself and my partners. Now that's not necessarily a good or a bad thing, I'm just not sure that I'm doing the right thing with my life. Just because running media companies is what I know best, that doesn't justify the course of action I feel that I am drifting into.


OK, I know that I need to earn a living and fund my family and this is probably the quickest and surest way of achieving that but what I've just gone through was such a massive event in my life and so emotionally seismic that I cannot help but feel that I'm missing an opportunity to capitalise on what has happened. Maybe I'm scared of the unknown. I've come through a major life-changing event and I am at an epiphany point.

I suspect that what's bugging me is that in deciding which way to go from here, I am aware of a growing feeling of frustration that maybe I have settled for a safer option, for less; that I have missed out on a chance to live a fuller and richer life. And now, I'm committed to this option, because people have left companies to come and work for me and in some cases taken a salary cut too. They are showing a lot of loyalty and belief in me. .............................


Boy do I ever feel trapped!